Post #9
Urgent Reminder to Staff: The Blue Folder
by the regularly-ignored campus staff contributors to the Specter Editorial Board
Subject: Urgent Reminder: The Blue Folder (Because Students Still Exist)
Dear Underpaid, Overworked, and Generally Ignored Staff;
Another academic year resplendent with opportunities to appease tyrants limps toward us, and with it, University-inflicted student "distress". We're writing, yet again, to point you to "The Blues Folder" – that handy compendium of links designed to deflect any student-related unpleasantness away from our Admin email inboxes and squarely into yours.
Since you, the frontline "interactors," are unfortunately positioned to witness our many self-inflicted inconveniences firsthand, The Blues Folder is your designated escape hatch. It's chock-full of University resources that you can, and should, foist upon any student exhibiting signs of anything less than blissful ignorance or impatience with being kettled—whether protesting or merely attempting to enter the Morningside gates at too few entrances. Many of you have, we're told, managed to utilize this resource successfully, thus saving us the bother. Do keep the link handy; it's practically a life raft for your sanity (and ours).
And speaking of sanity, a brief, perfunctory nod to "self-care." Yes, yes, you also need to care for yourselves. Just remember, those very same University resources we just mentioned for the students? These resources along with ergonomic consultations to remove your shoulders from your ears, discounts for boba tea from the Employee Assistance Program, and five whole minutes meditation practice (on your own time, of course) are technically available to you too. Don't strain yourselves trying to access these resources, but do keep them in mind as theoretical options.
You are always welcome to share your private data with the TELLUS app. Remember: your personal records are confidential…until ICE or another government entity texts our WhatsSignalApp group or asks for an AirDrop.
As ever, we extend our deepest, most profound gratitude for your "dedication" to ensuring students don't completely derail their "academic success" (and by extension, our institutional metrics). We acknowledge these are "extraordinary times" – mostly because we've had to send this email again. To those of you who are distressed by our constant barrage of Friday evening emails, we must ask, we admire your commitment to overworking, but even the news outlets we’re trying to avoid don’t bother reading our Public Affairs missives until at least Sunday evening.
Please continue advancing our "efforts to create a supportive environment,” primarily so Administrators and Trustees don't have to. Thank you for all you've done this year. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming of dealing with everything.
Sincerely,
The Administration
