Post #8

Written By CUIMCstandsUP .

Columbia Buys Back Its Federal Grants and Sells Off Its Spine

By The Specter Editorial Board

CUIMC, NYC — It’s official: Columbia University has reached a historic agreement with the Trump administration. And by “historic,” we mean deeply collaborative, publicly humiliating, and legally binding—or as some are now calling it: Vichy on the Hudson.

For the low price of $221 million and a three-year monitoring arrangement, Columbia has preserved its most cherished value: the right to say it wasn’t coerced. And the best part? All this just to get our grant money back. Because nothing screams academic independence like begging for billions in federal funding and then swearing on a stack of Title VI audits that we’ll be good this time.

Yes, folks—Columbia stood tall. It looked the federal government in the eye and said: “Sure, we’ll create a new bureaucracy to approve our faculty hires, restructure our regional studies, drop race as a consideration in admissions, discipline masked protesters, reduce financial dependence on international students, and send annual report cards to Bart Schwartz of Guidepost Solutions—but we will not give up our God-given right to call ourselves elite.” Freedom preserved.

A Summary of the agreement Key Terms & Actions (summarized by ChatGPT - this section is objective with no satire):

  1. Financial Settlement

    • $200M to the U.S. government over 3 years

    • $21M to a claims fund (EEOC agreement)

  2. Federal Grant Restoration

    • HHS/NIH will reinstate terminated grants

    • Columbia regains eligibility for future grants

  3. Oversight & Monitoring

    • Resolution Monitor: Bart M. Schwartz (Guidepost Solutions)

    • Columbia must designate a senior compliance administrator

  4. Academic Program Reforms

    • Review/rebalance Middle East–related academic programs

    • Joint faculty appointments (e.g., Jewish Studies, Political Science)

    • Reevaluate hiring and curriculum processes for impartiality

  5. Nondiscrimination Requirements

    • No racial/ethnic preferences in:

      • Admissions

      • Hiring/promotion

      • Program access

    • DEI must comply with federal law; diversity statements restricted

  6. Student Life & Safety

    • Jewish liaison in student life

    • Single-sex housing/sports maintained

    • Stricter rules for masked protestors and building disruptions

    • Enhanced security (NYPD + 36+ private officers)

  7. International Students & Foreign Influence

    • Assess international applicants’ “motives”

    • Reduce financial dependence on international tuition

    • Comply with SEVIS and foreign gift disclosure laws

  8. Transparency & Reporting

    • Annual data reports on admissions and hiring

    • Biannual public progress updates (starting Oct 2025)

    • Whistleblower protections

    • Audit access for the feds and monitor

  9. Enforcement & Dispute Resolution

    • Violations follow structured escalation:
      Notice → Response → Negotiation → Arbitration → Court

  10. Duration

  • Agreement lasts 3 years (from July 23, 2025)

No Identity Politics—Unless It’s the Right Identity (now back to satire-sort of)

Let’s recap: Columbia has agreed not to consider race or identity in any academic decision. Not in admissions. Not in hiring. Not even in vaguely worded personal statements.

We’re post-race now.  Pure meritocracy—as defined by a monitoring agreement co-written by prosecutors and approved by people who think diversity means hiring both a Yale and a Harvard alum. And who only discover “identity politics” when someone brown gets tenure.

And yet, somehow, Columbia’s hand-picked compliance czar is Bart M. Schwartz—a man who may or may not have been chosen for his identity, optics, or Facebook friendships with CU-president-wanna-be, David Schizer (chair of the Antisemitism Task Force) and/or “builder-not-destroyer” Shoshana Shendelman (CU trustee and Fox News darling), and his presumed allegiance to “moral clarity.”  But don’t worry. That’s not identity politics. That’s values-based alignment.

After all, identity only becomes dangerous when it’s associated with critics of U.S. foreign policy.

To make matters more obvious that the call for these strong-armed changes were welcomed from the inside, during the last week some Columbia affiliated members sent an anonymous letter to the Board of Trustees, via Fox News.

Their demands?

  • More faculty purges

  • Curriculum surveillance

  • Consequences for protesters

  • “Viewpoint diversity” enforced by the Trump White House

"The administration must address antisemitic classroom indoctrination and make necessary leadership changes,” said Ari Shrage, co-founder of the Columbia Jewish Alumni Association.

Nothing says university independence like letting the Office of Jared Kushner Affairs vet your department chairs.

The Real Target Was Palestine

Let’s not pretend this was just about compliance or combating “antisemitic classroom indoctrination”.

The crackdown began with campus protests—led by students and faculty who dared to speak out against Israel’s war on Gaza and the US and Columbia’s complicity in it.

That speech—protected, principled, and urgent—has now been rebranded as “campus unrest.” It’s been regulated, monitored, and packaged in a 22-page settlement agreement.

Meanwhile, those demanding Palestinian liberation, ceasefire accountability, and an end to U.S. complicity are being suspended, expelled, targeted by ICE, and airbrushed out of history. Because nothing says “moral clarity” like strategic amnesia.

Meanwhile at the Medical Center (CUIMC)

Not everyone’s popping champagne on 168th Street.  At CUIMC—the part of Columbia whose research was defunded —faculty and staff are still trying to figure out how to feel about this “victory.”  Fortunately, our deans are here to help us understand how grateful we should be. One email from the Mailman interim dean began:

“I’m pleased to share encouraging news…”

Yes. Encouraging—like when your doctor says the tumor is gone but they also removed your spine and replaced it with a nondisclosure agreement.

As for those of us on the medical campus who resisted these terms —who signed the open letters defending shared governance, academic freedom, and protest, who held vigils for student pro-Palestinian protesters abducted by ICE—we didn’t ask to be part of this compromise.

We said: Don’t fold.
They said: Negotiate in good faith.
We said: Protect research and protest.
They said: Maybe we don’t need both?
We said: Palestinian rights matter.
They said: Please remove your keffiyeh before entering the compliance zone.

“We weren’t looking for a deal. We were looking for a spine.”

Columbia didn’t settle. Columbia aligned. Now we as faculty and staff as-of-now still employed by this University have to decide what comes next.  

CUIMCstandsUP .
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Post #7